"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, and irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable." -C.S. Lewis
The word vulnerable what does that even mean?
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Synonym words for vulnerability: accessible, defenseless, exposed, NAKED, sensitive, sucker, susceptible, tender, thin-skinned, UNGUARDED, UNPROTECTED, UNSAFE, WEAK, wide open.
Antonyms: closed, guarded, protected, safe, secure
I don’t know about you but to me the antonyms for vulnerability sound pretty appealing. I enjoy feeling protected, safe and secure, who doesn't?
A few months ago I came across C.S. Lewis infamous quote. These words have been stuck in my head for quite some time now, “To Love is to be vulnerable”… What does that mean? How do I apply it, better yet how do I apply this without getting hurt, without being exposed? A question that was asked today pressed a heavy conviction upon my heart. “What do you struggle with, relationship wise, what is your struggle?”
My response: being honest, being vulnerable… refusing to share, refusing to speak because of fear…fear of rejection, fear of embarrassment, fear of being too honest, fear of getting disappointed or hurt, and letting people see me, letting people see my heart and the list of excuses goes on….
Recently I’ve been amazed in the reaction I get from my brothers and sisters when I share, “Wow Jocelyn I did not know, I had no idea.” When I share I assume people know what I’m about to tell them, I assume people can see right through me, I never realized I had constructed layers of lies around me… walls that are secure, nothing bad can get in… but that means nothing good can’t get in either, nothing good will pour out.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Proverbs 4:23
I've accomplished something I thought was good I “Wrapped my heart carefully with hobbies and little luxuries; avoided all entanglements. I locked it up safe in the casket of my own selfishness.” What lies in a coffin is dead, dark, motionless, airless, it will change, it will become corroded even more. Yes it will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, and irredeemable.
If my desire is for GOD to break my heart for what breaks His, If my desire is for God to penetrate my soul, if my desire is for God to redeem all of me, then I must be vulnerable to it. Its messy and painful. If our desire is for others to know God and experience His love we must prepare to walk in His path, the path that very much inflicted pain, the path that carried much suffering and betrayal, the path that demonstrated LOVE. Vulnerability is not weakness; it is strength, strength made victorious through His Mercy and Grace.
Beloved to Love is to be vulnerable.
Beloved you are loved by the one who was, by the one who is in constant pursue of you.
Jocelyn Im angie chapa's Mom, so sorry that i did not recognize who you were, till angie told me latter at home, after the party, but just wanted to say again what a talent you are, I love how Logos has all these talents, including angie, im always telling angie she should write more, I'm just enjoying all this honest writting, Love the CS Lewis quote and the song. God Bless and keep on writting !
ReplyDeleteYou encourage me!
I can't say I know much, But I do know, about when someone say's after a tragic event, loss of a loved one or even spouse betrayal "My Heart Hurts" or " My Heart is Broken" it is the most unbelievable pain, you really think you will die.
You can hear it or read about it but you have no idea, till you experience it. It is a literal PAIN in the Heart, I wish this on no one.
But then again, we are all vulnerable, if we chose to Love.
oh, well this Love and Heart subject, reminded of this,
see, you really bring out the emotions ! Ha!
I cannot express how humbled I am by your words :)
ReplyDeleteI myself did not realize it was you.
Thank you so much for your words of affirmation. I'm very blessed to hear that this blog resonates much in your heart. Keep looking to JESUS as the comforter of our vulnerable hearts. Love
-His Jocelyn